I am a total roller coaster junkie. Not many know this, but it’s true. The bigger, the faster, the more upside down – the better. There is just something about the unpredictable twists and turns that makes me feel so alive.

Years ago I was talking about this love for coasters at church when another mom mentioned that she too enjoyed them until she had her own kids and then it all changed. She was unable to ride them as she once did because “things” internally “shift a lot” after pregnancy. After hearing this I feared ever riding a coaster again plagued by the terror of potential motion sickness. I also didn’t have anyone who would ride with me so I was unable to test the waters of uncertainty in order to validate the reality of this perceived potential inability to ride.

I know this sounds like a totally trivial issue, and completely absurd in some cases, however this was one of the few things I took great joy in doing for myself. I am a pretty serious person and quite literal (if you haven’t noticed already through my writing). I can take a joke, but to see me totally cut loose is a rarity.  This is one thing a coaster ride can do to me in an instant; thus making it a true gem of abundant joy in my life.

This past weekend I was able to test the waters of the unknown and jumped off the proverbial cliff of a coaster for the first time in over a decade. I am elated to report it was everything I had ever hoped it would be, and more! I felt so alive! I wore a permanent smile from ear to ear; and still do now as I think back on the time I had.

However there was one thing that kept me perplexed through the day: my stomach had not flipped even once on any of the rides. We went on small coasters, large coasters, loop de loops, sideways rails, steep drops, unexpected twists and turns, and yet nothing could make my stomach flip the way I remembered it doing years ago. It was as though I was untouchable and able to sit back and fully enjoy the ride without any of the uncomfortable sensations a coaster normally comes with. It. was. glorious.

I soaked in the excitement moment by moment and couldn’t help but see God at work through it all. (Yes, even at a theme park on some crazy intense coaster rides I was thinking about our Creator and looking for His fingerprints all over.) I have a sneaking suspicion it was His hand keeping my stomach calm and His peace that allowed me to truly enjoy the entire day in all it’s glory.

I can’t help but draw similarities to this day at the theme park with my own life this past decade. I was apprehensive at best in my walk with Jesus in the beginning. Would he really take care of me like he promises? Is his word true? Does he really see me? Am I truly his child and what does that mean? It has been just over a decade of a true relationship with Christ now and I have been through so much more than I could have ever anticipated. Initially when the unexpected occurred my stomach would flip. I would attempt to begin damage control and lay out the plan for how to work through whatever obstacle had come up. I don’t operate so much that way anymore.

I’m sure some will laugh at the idea that I am more laid back now than I had been in the past; laugh it up, I’m laughing right along with you, I see the irony here for all that it is! But truly, I have come leaps and bounds in this area because of the work Christ has done in my life. He so tenderly pursues me and calls me deeper into a relationship with himself and along the way restores the skeptical places in my heart as I allow myself to free fall into his open arms moment by moment.

I am certainly still far from living out perfect trust in Him, but I can tell you that my stomach no longer flips when the unexpected comes up. I still struggle with trying to plan around the next twist and turn, but I for sure know who is in charge of this roller coaster called life and I can tell you with the utmost certainty He will provide, protect, and produce the most beautiful story in your life if you are willing to take the leap of faith and let Him lead the way.

Let’s pray.

God you are so gracious and merciful. Your loving kindness is something we can never fully understand. We struggle with trusting you fully and yet you continue to pursue us gently and with such understanding of the frailty that is our flesh. You never leave us despite our disobedience and you discipline those you love in order that we may turn back to you and live in communion with you once more. Show us the ways in which we are falling short of a total free fall in trusting in you. Help us to put our trust in you knowing that you are mighty and powerful and all knowing. Lord you have our best interest in mind and you have a plan for our lives to glorify yourself through our every breath. May our lives waft the intoxicating fragrance of your grace so that all may see your Son and come to know the truth of your great love. In Jesus name, amen.