1 Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

It is both terrifying and rewarding to realize that although not how I envisioned, I can do all of this through Christ. Last time I wrote I was in a place of just being *ahem* humbled through an injury. I realized that I had been carrying the weight of this new life on my own accord and needed a hard lesson in order to be brought back to center with God. It has been almost a month and I have spent a good deal of time processing the lessons that came from that injury and the weeks leading up to it.

Like many times in life it isn’t necessarily our outward actions that are the sin, but rather, the heart behind them that is. At least for me, this is generally the case. It’s not that I’m “doing something wrong” it’s the posture of my heart that is out of line.

Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

It has been a beautiful process over the past several weeks being restored physically and also given the opportunity to approach my daily tasks with a new heart attitude. I absolutely love the way the Lord allowed me to slowly walk around, then walk a little more, to finally becoming fully mobile once again all the while restoring my inner attitude at the same pace. He put me back on solid ground and showed me that not only could I still accomplish “all the things” but I could do it in a way that would be truly glorifying and pleasing to Him as well.

Oh what a savior we serve!

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Now when I am going about my yard work and house chores etc I am able to hear my thankful heart singing praise for all that he has given me! I can walk at a slower pace and see that it will all get done in due time rather than in a chaotic rush. I also realized that a lot of this false pressure I was feeling was a result from a traumatic past. I have been asking the Lord to heal the wounds from my past and I believe this is one way he is doing just that.

It is so easy to mistakenly cross the lines of the way people treat us with the lines of how God views us. Many times I find myself repeating terrible things that were told to me or said about me as though they are the way God sees me. I end up pressure cooking my self worth into a race to the finish line as though somehow I am more worthy if everything is completed in record time.

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

I still have to fight the fear that I am going to be in trouble or condemned or belittled if everything isn’t “just so” in my home and life. It is not easy, but it is a battle worth fighting; and I won’t give up. Now when I hear the lies from my past creep into my thoughts I pause and filter them through the truth of how God really sees me. Then I adjust my response and actions according to the truth. Sanctification is not a process that just magically happens, we have to actively participate in it!* I have hope that one day I will be restored and not have to fight these battles quite as often, but until then I will soldier on!

*(For a great resource on the sanctification process check out this two part series by Alistair Begg)

My hope is that if you have been through trauma that you would not allow that abuse to alter the truth of how God sees you. The hard reality is that people are people, and while some of them embody the love of Christ, others do not. Life can be painful and hopeless and when we are looking at people to see the character of God we can easily miss the beauty of who God really is and begin to see him through the flawed lens of humanity rather than seeing humanity through His perfect lens of grace.

Colossians 3:1-3 “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”